The Write Life

The write life is the only life.

How can you not communicate once you learn the form?

I spend many hours per week writing and researching my books, screenplays and other expressions of my thoughts.

Now I have to do that which I do not enjoy, but is a necessity.

Marketing my work.

I've been researching agents, agencies, publishers and the various new forms of publishing available to anyone with the urge to write. Then get it out to the public and hope for it's acceptance as viable entertainment.

To paraphrase Elvis, "Too much talk and not enough action, I can't get no satisfaction."

Wait, there might be a touch of Rolling Stones in there...or did they copy Elvis?

Either way, it's time to take action.

Agents, continued

I might have sounded a bit gruff, rough or been tough on agents in my last post.

Didn't mean to upset anyone. Just want some answers to the simple question of using videos as a method to query agents, publishers and for those of us who write screenplays, production companies.

Doing a video isn't easy. Most people have a hard enough time writing a query letter or a pitch for their work. I've been shooting film or video for decades, so it's a something I'm used to.

It's the video age. Everyone was raised on TV. OK, I've got a few gaps there, where I've gone for years at a time without owning one and didn't watch too many hours of programming. That can be explained and no, I wasn't in jail.

Gives me more time to write and shoot photos.

Are Agents REALLY Needed Now?

I'm not going to make any friends with this, but the question must be asked. After all, I've seen how the internet has changed the music business. Why should the publishing biz be immune?

Now that all of us can communicate one on one, who needs a salesperson to tout your wares?

Sure, the agent is 'in place', whether that be NY, LA, London, etc. depending on whether you're selling a screenplay or novel. Yes, they have the contacts which you haven't developed, but did they grow up with these people or just hang out in the right colleges and bars?

Are the proper places to 'hang out' now Facebook, Twitter, or? I ask this, since the internet landscape changes quickly. Does anyone remember Myspace?

Does all the tweeting, blogging, etc. really get you published? Or is it who you know?

My personal experience with agents hasn't been good. I've driven across country to LA to hear a sales pitch about how my screenplay would be promoted to producers and directors. All I needed to do was come up with $2500. This was in 1992, so things have changed since then. Yet, isn't an agent really just another salesperson?

Now, you have to jump through hoops, apply all your skills to being a good pitch/query writer and hope that they like your blog. Sorry, I'm not here to spend half my time being a lap dog. If you don't like me or my work, OK. Get in line, there' s a long one. There are people who don't like Shakespeare either.

Yes, I know a good agent can help develop your work. They can find you a good editor or the people with special skills to help you.

A relevant story, short and pointed. I moved to Europe ten years ago, was told by a real estate agent that I couldn't buy a house until I rented an apartment for a year. This sounded like they wanted to control the situation and get a year's rent from me.

I hopped in the rental car, drove around town, found houses for sale. Called the listing agent, even though I didn't speak Dutch (still don't). They showed me their houses. I found one I liked and contacted a real estate lawyer. Got the contract written up, reviewed it, signed it and moved into the house.

So, no offense to the agents out there. I would LOVE to give you my business. My catalog of work grows each day. I write, but I don't spend hours on the internet, blogging, tweeting and generally getting nothing done. I leave that to those thrive on it.

Myself? I'm going to videos.

After all, if you get to be a published author, you have to make those personal appearances.

Just as long as they photograph me from my good side.

You Wanna Be In Movies, Part 2

Tell me that you don't do things to attract another person. It doesn't matter which sex you're interested in, we all do what it takes to get their attention. Movies, whether homemade or professional, give a person the double shot of ego boost and personal appeal. You look good on screen, the babes have to love ya, if your head doesn't explode first.

Due to the nature of my community, I decided to not tell anyone about getting this movie job. Instead, I told everyone that I was going to a job interview. Which is the way that I looked at it. Too many times, when mentioning that I've been on a film set, like "Milk Money" or "Hart's War", people would turn frosty towards me. Yes, everyone wants to be in movies, but they don't want to hear about you doing it. So, the game plan was to play it low and cool. No mention of the film, until after it was shot. I have enough problems with people as it is, being a writer.

After all, if I got a chance to talk to the star or one of the producers, maybe I could get some more work. They were going to be shooting in a couple of nearby states over the next few months, so there was hope that I might land a speaking role. I also took a copy of one of my screenplays, which I feel is 'right' for the star. You never know when you're going to get your chance, so you should always be ready. Just don't push it on people. If they ask, then deliver.

The way it looked to me, it was going to be a three day trip. Drive down early Sunday, get the haircut and fitted for my clothes, then the shoot on Monday. Spend Monday night at the motel, leave Tuesday morning, visit a high school teacher on the way back home. When you go to high school overseas, you usually don't get to have any reunions, much less see anyone after graduation. This teacher had mentored me when I was learning photography. I wanted to stop and see him, drop off a copy of my book. So, the route was planned and arrangements made with all concerned.

The casting company didn't give me much notice when the shoot date was decided, probably a security thing. They gave me less than a week, which kicked things into high gear around the farm. My dogs would be taken care of by a neighbor. Another neighbor would get my mail. I drove into town to get oil and parts to do a tune-up on my 30+ year old car.

Maybe it was an omen. You know, a warning that things weren't going to go the way you expect them to. The car's a good vehicle, it's just got some wear on it. It was acting up, bogging down when I tried to accelerate. It was due for a tuneup. I stopped at the car parts store, picked up oil and a filter. Then drove off.

I didn't make it more than 100 feet. The car backfired, I looked into the rear view mirror. There was a ball of flames coming out of the engine compartment. My Porsche was on fire!

This made for the fire dance. I popped the engine cover, whipped off my jacket, threw it on the flames, didn't do any good. Ran back to the door, flipped the seat forward and grabbed the fire extinguisher. Dashed back to the engine, flames are higher than ever. Ripped the pin from the extinguisher, aimed at the bottom of the carburetor, pulled the trigger, powder everywhere. The flames snuffed, I stood back, heaved a sigh of relief.

A couple of good old boys pulled up in their pickup truck. They had been sitting in the Kentucky Fried Chicken, about 50 feet away, watching me. They finished their meal, got a bucket of water and came over to help. About five minutes after the fire started. Which would have been enough time for the entire car to be engulfed in flames. That's why I carry a fire extinguisher. They still wanted to help, but I told them I had it under control.
Then, the driver said, "Hey, what'ca gonna do now, get it towed?"
"Nope, I'll get the trailer from the farm and haul it back home. If it doesn't start."

The driver and his buddy both got a laugh out of that comment. After all, I look like a geek, driving a foreign car that's probably nothing but trouble, so I deserve what I get. I just shrugged at them, then starting taking the air cleaner off.

The next half hour was spent cleaning up the carb, getting as much of the extinguisher powder off the engine. None had got inside the carb, just all over the air cleaner. I put everything back together, then started the car. It ran OK, but I knew that it might quit at any time, so I took off down the road.

This was on Thursday afternoon. I had to leave on Sunday morning. I spent the next two days tearing the Porsche's carbs apart, tuning it up, getting my clothes ready and generally burning the candle at both ends. I still had farm work that had to be done, at the same time.

When I fell into bed on Saturday night, it was after midnight. I got about six hours of sleep, got up, loaded the car and left for Chattanooga. There was a fresh fire extinguisher in the back seat.

The last thing I wanted was Porsche flambe alongside the interstate.

It's not exactly my idea of a good meal.

You Wanna Be In Movies? Part 1

As promised, the story of how I, a humble, unknown writer, photographer, farm hand, got onto a feature film. Not guaranteed to work for anyone. But it was fun!

It gets cold in the South. Not the bone chilling cold you get in a Northern winter, like a blizzard blowing in out of Canada. The deep snow, howling wind, frostbite kind of cold, which I don't miss a bit. Ohio can have it. It's more a rainy, damp cold, just enough to make your bones creak and your muscles stiff. While your head tries to act like a leaky human faucet.

Around the first of February, 2007, I got an email from Film Nashville. I've been to their soirees and workshops. Used to spend a day and drive up to Nashville to meet people and find out about the film community. Went to acting classes, showed up for auditions, did a 48 Hour Film one year. Attended meetings of the Tennessee Screenwriters, everybody hopeful that their screenplay would get bought and they would have to give up hearth and home for the wilds of Hollywood. I did this for about three years, but slowly stopped making it a monthly trip. It was eating into my savings and my writing time.

The email had a notice that a feature film was going to need extras. It would be one day of work, so it wouldn't be too much of a strain. I didn't have a hope in hell of getting any work from this gig, but being bored, sitting in the living room/office, knowing that the weather wasn't going to let up for at least another couple of months...what the hell.

Did a self-portrait, up against the living room wall, once I removed the General McArthur poster. Figured out my hat size, all those other pertinent personal details that they need when they put you in costume. Put the info on the back of the headshot that I printed up for the casting company. Typed up a letter. Slid it all into a big, manila envelope.

On my trip into town that week, I mailed if from the post office. They have almost gotten used to my letters and packages to people in strange places like New York and LA. I usually tell Beverly what's in them, but didn't this time.

I went to the library, got some books and a couple of DVDs, went back to the homestead. Read the books, background info for the novel that I'm working on, watched the DVDs. Forgot all about the headshot.

When the weather wasn't freezing cold, I would do repair work on the farm equipment. Came in from the tractor shed one afternoon and the phone was blinking at me. It was the casting company.

They had called while I working, wanted to know if I was going to be available for the shoot. I sat down and looked at the calendar, then the map. Then I called them up to find out the specifics of the situation.

They explained that I needed to 'stop by' and get fitted for my clothes and get a proper 'era' haircut the day before filming. Uh huh, anything else? Just wear a white dress shirt, dark dress slacks and dress shoes. No problem, part of the work uniform when I was a corporate type.

Would I be able to confirm being a 'background extra' for them. I begged off, I wanted to check and be sure that I would be able to get someone to take care of things on the farm. They agreed to let me call them the next day to let them know whether I was going to do it or not. I got off the phone.

Then, I started laughing.

They thought that I lived somewhere near Chattanooga. In truth, I would have to drive about 300 miles to get to the set. When I figured out the wages, cost of a motel room, gas, etc. I would be paying to be in the movie.

Still, how often do you get the chance to be in a feature film with a couple of Academy Award winners?

Yeah, I buy lottery tickets every so often, too.

This would mean possibly getting my mug up on the big screen.

Then again, it might wind up being stepped on, while reposing on the cutting room floor.

Either way, it would give me time on a feature film set. Which would give me some perspective as to how a major film gets shot. All of which would help when I write a screenplay.

Who am I kidding?

I did it for the women.

Hollywood, Lawyers, The Office and Me

A friend in Hollywood suggested, months ago, that I write about my efforts to 'get to Hollywood'. Which is interesting in and of itself, since I've been out to LA five times now. They weren't vacations, each time I went was due to the Biz, or as it's known to the rest of the world, Hollywood and the movies.

The first time was due to an agent. He told me that my screenplay 'has potential', wanted to meet with me. This was before the internet and cellphones were common. You called people long distance, sent a letter or went and met them. Doing what any normal, level-headed person would do, I quit my job and drove to the West Coast. Yes, I used capital letters, it's a nation unto itself.

You want the grimy details on that trip, it's covered in my book, "Going Dutch, Trials of a Wage Slave". Let's just say that the agent and I weren't a good match and leave it at that.

I won't bore you with the details of the other trips. A couple were for a film commission that I worked with in Ohio. The last two were for screenwriter conferences and meetings. You have to stay up to speed, even if you live in the hills of Tennessee, if you want to get your movie made.

Even here, we have Hollywood come to visit. I've attended the Nashville Screenwriters Conference and got some great advice. One of the lawyers that flew in from New York gave the definitive breakdown on the writer hierarchy. Let me give you the short list.

1) Playwrights
2) Novelists
3) Screenwriters

Playwrights have almost total control, right down to the sets and director. Novelists work with an editor, who usually has notes on the work in progress. Screenwriters get to hear from everyone, the director, the producer, the actors, the studio suits, ad infinum. Guess which writer has the most power?

Which is why I have gone back to writing novels. I would like to write a play, but that would mean having to stage it. Rather difficult here, there aren't too many theaters around and the local high school productions are a bit reserved. Don't expect to see "Oh, Calcutta" or "Hair" being done down at the local school anytime soon.

As for the screenplays. I still write them. I still send them out. Some are being rewritten as novels. I don't give up on projects. Why should I, after all the work that has gone into them.

When I wrote "Going Dutch, Trials of a Wage Slave", it was before "The Office" became a big hit in the USA. My work in different industries and my last corporate job were pretty funny situations. They were both hilarious and funny strange.

Funny strange due to the office politics and power plays by different people and groups in the companies. In time, I have displaced the anger that I felt during the game playing with humor. Reflecting on the efforts of some of the non-performers, who were just scared people trying to do what they could to keep their jobs. Right up to and including lies, rumors, innuendo and conspiracy. As seen on TV!

You have to wonder about people who go home from work to watch TV about people at work in an office. TV used to be all game shows, historical shows and sitcoms. The reality stuff is almost a farce. Which is probably one of the most accurate reflections of our current society.

I now have added 'blogger' to my repertoire. Which is almost as effective as standing on the front porch, talking into the wind. You get the words out, but you really have to wonder if anyone is listening to you. Does George Bush do this at the White House?

One of my next posts will be about another one of my efforts to 'get to Hollywood'. In this case, I was cast as a 'background extra' on a feature film. Part of it was shot in Tennessee.

The film's out now. I haven't been to see it. Don't know if it's going to make the local theater or not. They only play one movie a week. Talk about a 'one horse town'.

Which means that I can always wait until in comes out on DVD. If they still make DVDs.

There is more than one way to 'get to Hollywood'.

The main thing is that you do it your way.

Meeting Lew Hunter and Sherri Sanders

Contrary to what you might think, there are people with real power in this neck of the woods. I’m not talking about the ones with .50 caliber weapons, I mean those who actually know someone and can influence them to ‘come on down and sit a spell’ here in the backwoods. In this neck of the woods, we have been blessed with a fine human being, a great person and she’s a writer!

Sherri Sanders decided to leave LA and move back home. Home now being about 15 miles south of me, even though she grew up just down the road. We met through a friend at a local library who is also an author. OK, local in that this library is 22 miles away and the one closest to me is 17 miles. People wonder why I only leave the farm every week to ten days or so. It’s pretty simple. Time and gas prices. It cuts into my writing.

So, Sherri and I begin to email each other about the Lew Hunter workshop that she is going to put on in Selmer, TN. That’s right, a small town that most people wouldn’t notice if they drove through it. 3,900 some people just don’t impress those who have lived in cities of millions. I’m intrigued, how the hell did she get a major Hollywood screenwriting icon to show up down here?

In August I broke my foot and it’s slowed me down. I have farm work to do before it gets really cold and I know that I can’t do the workshop. This really tears me up, as I have traveled to NYC and LA just to attend workshops, seminars and other writing events. So, I’m only going to attend the Friday night meet and greet.

One the appointed day, 2 November, I shut down early at the shop. After cleaning up, I make the trek to Selmer. Most of the writers were early, some of them had driven from across Tennessee, which is a journey of about 350 miles. Others have come in from Mississippi. This is great! I didn’t realize that we had such a diverse group, ranging from college students to farm-types to musicians and professionals, even a doctor.

Lew and his lovely wife, Pamela, show up and immediately charm the group. I thought he was an extremely brave man from the outset, wearing a red Nebraska sweatshirt, right here in the heart of Volunteer country. We didn’t go into the football stuff too much. I don’t follow the game now. It’s become too commercial for me.

After doing the ‘your name, your game’ scenario, Lew launched into giving us an idea about his life in Hollywood and screenwriting in general. This sort of thing always fascinates me, as each person will recount their experiences and give you something on which to base your future plans. It also fires me up to keep writing.

Lew and Pamela outlined the workshop projects for the weekend and then talked about various influences on them. How Billy Wilder impressed Lew and his classes at UCLA. Concerns about the WGA strike, which unfortunately, is now going on all over the country. What really impressed me though, was throughout it all, Lew kept emphasizing that we could do this. We could work as writers.

I’ve been to seminars where the speaker has stood up in front of 800+ people and told them that in five years, probably none of them would be writing movies in Hollywood. Which might be true. It sure doesn’t give a person hope though, does it? I had just spent major bucks, flown over 1,000 miles and then I hear this? Should have stayed on the farm? Not likely.

Not everyone will become a screenwriter, some of us will go on to do other things, some of it will be in the realm of writing. Those who only do it for a hobby still get the satisfaction of completing the work. Just as long as you write.

I might be down here, miles from nowhere, but you’re reading this, wherever you are.

Thanks, Lew, Pamela and Sherri. I had a great time. You really fired me up. Let’s all get back to our writing.

The Rise of Bollywood, China and Hollywood North

As the sun goes down over Sunset Boulevard, you can hear dreams crashing like bumpercar BMWs, as if driven by writers off their meds. It’s a sad day in the city of Tinsel, as scribes wander the streets wailing for residuals. The WGA has voted, will it be much ado about nothing or the final strike-out?

While those of us who have written, but not been bought, stand back and contemplate. Can we now get a shot at the big time? Don’t hold your breath, I’m not. We live in the land of litigation. Look at me wrong and I’ll sue you down the river of debt.

No, there will be few scabs, even if the writers have to get out of their cars and walk the picket lines. If they’re smart they’ll get a rent-a-picket, someone who actually can be physically intimidating to a line-crosser. How far will they have to travel to stop writers who can work off-scene, away from LA, somewhere across the digital divide?

A while back, I presented a screenplay logline to a couple of hundred writers during a seminar held at a major studio. It was about outsourcing jobs around the world. The Important Hollywood Scribe/Director/Producer in charge of the seminar had a simple critique for my screenplay. He didn’t know what the word ‘outsourcing’ meant! Therefore, my screenplay wouldn't sell. The Hollywood crowd and the WGA will get to find out what the rest of American society has known for years. It’s outsourcing time in the city!

The easy way out for producers and studios alike will be to go East and head North. Bollywood might not have the same cultural excesses as it’s namesake, but the producers will just write in the extra sex, drugs and gratuitous violence. Then there are our neighbors to the north. Vancouver will be glad to shoot more movies, TV shows and documentaries for those in need. Montreal can give it a leetle French flair, mon ami. Did I mention all those studios in China? We love our globalization.

Don’t hold your breath WGA. This might be the start of something big. After all, one of Hollywood’s own started all of this, back when he broke up the Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization (PATCO). You might remember him, he was the president of the Screen Actors Guild, before he took up residence in the big, white house on Pennsylvania Avenue. Which led to fuzzy math economics. Kinda like those figures you hear concerning residuals, new media, digital revenue, etc. It could be a ‘trickle down’ type of contract. Moguls, keep your genitalia away from that zipper!

I better check my passport. Can the WGA sue me if I work as a writer in China and get paid through a bank in Switzerland, while claiming residence in Australia?

More Pay, Less Work, Heavy Thinking

I love to write. It's the one thing that I do every day (body functions not included). Even if it's as basic as the outline for a story or just random thoughts.

The entire aspect of writing appeals to me.

Reading about or travelling to a place to do the background research. Getting sick on the strange food. Meeting beautiful women with hair under their arms.

Checking out the latest developments on the technical aspects of the story. Acting like I know what the hell they are talking about. Assuring them that I won't divulge their secrets.

Meeting experts in their field to discuss the current and future trends. Like I care about something I'll never live to see. If it ever happens in the first place.

I even like doing the rewrite work, trying to smooth out the flow of the story to get just the right pitch, making it a harmonious composition, instead of a jangle. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ah bullshit...

During the past few years, I've had a variety of jobs. Some of which even paid some money. The one thing that I learned from these escapades in employment; the less one does, labor-wise, usually the more one makes, in respect to payment. When I mention labor, I'm talking physical labor, not heavy thinking or childbirth. We won't even go into the 'jobs' that are more play than work.

I have worked hard as an auto mechanic and hardly worked as a technical writer. Guess which job paid better? Some of this is due to involvement in the job. When you are truly involved in your work, it's not really work any more.

After the first few brakes jobs, they all begin to look the same to me. When I'm writing, that changes, as there is more than one way to describe the brake job. Although I have friends who make great money as mechanics, I never did. The work did prepare me to do technical manuals, which paid fairly well, not to mention it's cleaner work. I still do my own car repair work though. Nobody touches my ride but me!

Writing has allowed me to travel to both LA and New York City and many places in between. Which is where I am now. I've worked and lived in Europe, writing technical manuals, screenplays and my first book. Which is not my only book, but the only one that's published.

People that I have met in the writing business are some of the most interesting souls on this planet. Some are just less than average assholes with big egos, but we won't go there today.

It's one of those avocations that will be the same as it was 3,000 years ago, but different tomorrow, always moving to the next level. I didn't say whether this would be a higher or lower level. A topic for further discussion.

What I want to know, if I like doing this so much, how can they call it 'work'?

Hollywood Writers Strike

It's fall, there are leaves hitting the ground and lines being drawn in the sand. Hollywood is facing a writers strike. I had planned on flying out to LA to attend the Screenwriters Expo, but won't be doing that this year.


The thought of a writers strike is not good news. It means that the people who are supposed to work together in the movie business can't divide up the income from the product in a manner which is fair to all participants. The problem is that money has become the overriding concern.

The aspiring writers who I have met almost all mention two things that motivate them to write for the movies. The 'big money' and their ego, err, name on the 'big screen'. The serious ones write, whether they make money doing it or not.


Which comes down to the motivation. This strike, like many I have seen, is about leveraging power to redistribute the income from the product. Too many people are unwilling to accept the fact that the lines between writer/director/producer are blurring.


It's going to be an interesting situation. I would like to see it resolved to everyone's satisfaction. That's not going to happen. It will probably be like any deal. Someone is going to walk away from it feeling like they got the short end of the stick.

This could be the seismic shift that changes how movies and all video content are created and distributed in the future.

So, if they want, let them fight it out.

I've got work to do on my book.